The first day of school is just around the corner...

Before I visited my new classroom, I had the worst anxiety. I always get anxiety whenever I move to a brand new classroom, because it brings me back to my first year of teaching (at a start-up charter school) where I had to start from the ground up, literally. It's like a first time home owner making a completely empty room more livable with just a few things to start off with. As a new teacher, I haven't really collected as many teaching supplies as, say, my mom, who's been teaching for more than 20 years. So, stepping into my new classroom at my new place of employment was nothing short of a jelly leg experience.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that the previous teacher left most of her classroom supplies for the next teacher (moi!) to enjoy! Her cabinets were filled from top to bottom with basic classroom needs, plus a few extras. Her bookshelves were complete with teacher resources and third grade literature. The classroom was clean, organized, and all it really needed was decorating and technology.

My new school isn't so new -- it's actually been around for so many years, even way before I was born. The only two things that needed some work were my low functioning sink with faucet and drinking fountain, and technology. Our lovely custodian, Mr. H, was able to successfully fix the pressure in the faucet, although the drinking fountain still didn't work. I didn't mind that at all, it just meant we had to have water fountain breaks within the day, so students can regularly fill up their water bottles or quench their thirst using the water fountain in the hallway.

Then, I tackled technology. This was probably the most challenging task I had to complete and the first thing I decided to tackle before anything else, because I knew it was going to be a big pain. And it was. I had four student desktop computers, all of which were still running on Windows XP, which makes everything run so slow and prone to viruses. I'm going to send out a help desk ticket for that tomorrow. I also have to replace two keyboards that aren't working at all, which is fine because Mr. H told me storage had a bunch of keyboards to replace them anyway.

The only other thing besides updating the Windows software, is for me to find a teacher's computer. Yes, the classroom didn't come with it. Apparently, the previous teacher used a laptop and had to turn it in when she left. The principal had me try out her old laptop, which didn't work (it also ran on Windows XP, by the way!). So, I'm still waiting for my new work laptop, which is kind of making me a little bit anxious because I use technology every single day for my lessons.

Anyway, I'm sure it will all work out. I have a wonderful principal who is so helpful and kind. I have a great team of 3rd grade teachers to work with, and that includes my mom! The other teachers I've met so far are all incredibly nice and welcoming. I feel quite blessed to be here.

My class web page and teacher blog (sponsored by our district) are almost set up; I just have to add parent members so they can easily access them at home. Other than that, all I have to do, really, is to decorate my classroom! Looking back at what I've written so far, it seems like I still have so much to do, but I'm not worried. Summer break was great, and I wish it didn't have to end so soon, but there's something very exciting about the first day of school as well. I'm ready!

Faith in the midst of anxiety

With the new school year starting up next week, I am definitely starting to get the jitters, what with a brand new school and a brand new community awaiting me. I have no problem going through change and new experiences, but this particular change of scenery makes me nervous.

In particular, the new parents make me nervous.

The doctors, the judges, the lawyers, the fellow educators, the hands-on moms. With a shift in environment and demographic comes very different personalities and expectations. The standards of these parents are, obviously, quite high. Don't get me wrong--it's a great thing, because I have pretty high standards for my students as well. It's the expectation setting and situations that call for debate and problem solving that give me jelly legs.

It is also much more complicated when you're new to town (and by new, I mean that I've lived here for six years), given this particular demographic that is very close-knit and quite homogeneous. It's a small town. It's a small, rural community of families and neighbors who go to the same doctors and borrow sugar from each other all the time. As far as they know, I am an outsider. And this outsider has just been given the responsibility of taking care of their child 7 hours a day, 5 days a week... more if they send them to after school programs.

With this particular community, I always find the need to make an extra effort each day to look presentable, professional, and elegant enough for these doctors, lawyers, and their wives.

I get depressed having this point-of-view sometimes.

I know that I am probably overreacting. It's my tendency, once again, to stress myself out in order to push myself to succeed. But am I supposed to live my life in the classroom trying to please the parents who send their kids to my care? No. That's not my job and I know that. My job is to support their children and help them become successful in school and in life. That's really the best I can do. I won't be able to please every single parent that comes for parent teacher conference, and that's okay. As long as their child learns something valuable in my classroom, as long as I am able to instill in them what it means to be a good human being, then I've succeeded. I've done my job.

What does this have to do with my own spirituality? It's all about being in the right frame of mind when you encounter anxieties that are similar. It's about staying true to your principles. It's about having faith that God will not give you a problem that you can't handle. So here's to a new school year and all the new experiences that come with it!

The Perfect Breakfast Burrito

Today, I finally figured out how to make my own version of the perfect breakfast burrito, and you will not believe how easy it is! It's really filling and also great for brunch or lunch.

Bacon, Egg, and Green Onion Burrito

Ingredients (serves 2):

5 strips of thick cut bacon, chopped in small pieces

4 eggs

4 strips of green onion, chopped in small pieces

2 flour tortillas

Sriracha to taste

1. Cook bacon until crispy. Drain with paper towels and set aside. Keep 2 tablespoons of bacon fat in the pan, and discard the rest.

2. Beat the eggs and add the green onion. Cook scrambled in bacon fat.

3. Lay flour tortilla flat on a plate and put scrambled eggs in the middle. Season with Sriracha and add bacon. Roll to make a burrito.

That's it.

Three simple steps and you get this...

Yum!

I thought of adding refried beans, which you can. But the bacon, eggs, and green onion stand great on its own. No need to add salt or pepper as the bacon fat already gives enough flavor!

Enjoy!

Let Go, You Control Freak!

'Honey, I've been feeling quite troubled lately,' I whispered to my husband in the dark at half past twelve last night. I had to tell someone about it, and I knew my husband would give great advice and comfort in this situation.

I told him I wasn't feeling very happy with my career. And with that feeling came the guilt associated with being ungrateful for even having a career, in a country where decent jobs are pretty hard to come by. I knew I was better off than a lot of Americans, and way better off than most immigrants, but I can't seem to make myself feel satisfied and genuinely thankful for what I have. I had very conflicting emotions that night, and this was something I had been feeling for the past couple of months.

I have a lot to be thankful for. I left my previous work place because I knew that working closer to home would be less stressful for me. That, and, I get to work with my mom in the same grade level. My mom has always been the light at the end of a tunnel ever since I started teaching. Daily stress is always easier to deal with if your mom is there to comfort and guide you.

My new boss is great. He is like a doting grandpa and clearly trusts his teachers, which is, to me, of utmost importance as an educator and employee. He has seen me teach a class in the past, and he believes in my capabilities in the classroom, which he made clear during my job interview. It felt wonderful hearing something like that from someone whom parents, teachers, and the community trust very deeply.

'I am not completely happy with what I am doing', I told Chris. And I am trying each day to make myself like and enjoy what I do, but sometimes, you just can't force it anymore. You end up pretending and we all know trying to disguise emotions doesn't last very long; it will eventually catch up with your reality.

Chris thinks I'm working myself up too much, and quite unnecessarily too. I know I'm a control freak and a perfectionist, especially when it comes to my job, or really, any task given to me. The negativity always gets in the way--I worry too much and don't really give myself a lot of credit. I think it's because I spent fifteen years of my life in Catholic schools where expectations are always high and you always have to achieve a particular standard. If not, you're a failure. Stressing myself out is pretty much the only way I know how to cope and actually push myself to succeed.

But we all know we can't succeed all the time, and during those moments when I failed at something, they build up and I would carry them with me during my next task. It's an endless cycle.

But I think Chris was right--I should relax. I should embrace this year with all its triumphs and failures and allow myself to make mistakes without dwelling on them, but rather, learning from them. I think it's time that the teacher in me be open to being a student again.

I will let my new boss teach me what it means to lead. I will let my mom mentor me during my first year as a 3rd grade teacher. I will learn from my colleagues. I will learn from my students. I have to accept the fact that, although being a teacher comes with great responsibility, I still have to learn to let go.

I think my dissatisfaction and seeming unhappiness with my career doesn't really come from hating what I do for a living. I think it comes from being so uptight when it comes to finishing a task or fulfilling a responsibility. I should learn to relax and let go.

Five Things: Summer Non-Negotiables

It's summer! That only means one thing for me, since I don't work summer as a teacher -- I have all the time in the world to get into a healthier lifestyle. During the first few weeks of summer break, I have to admit, I went all-out by sleeping in until 1pm, having dinner at 9pm, and going to bed at 4am! It was fun while it lasted, but being a total couch potato eventually made me feel extremely sluggish. Couple that with the hot summer days in the Southwest, it's like welcoming unnecessary stress with open arms.

I am a huge believer of starting each day right, and no matter how 'boring' a daily routine may sound, keeping a healthy, daily habit actually reaps more benefits for your body, mind, and spirit. So, I've made a commitment to do precisely that this summer, and hopefully even after that, by practicing five daily habits religiously each day for a better, healthier, happier, and more balanced lifestyle.

#1: First Thing in the Morning -- Warm Lemon Water

Creative Commons Image

This summer, 7:30 is my usual wake-up call. After getting up, kissing my still-sleeping-hubby good morning and letting our dog out for morning potty, the very first thing I do for my body each day is to drink a glass of warm lemon water. It's a great way to kickstart your morning, before eating anything or working out. It perks me up and it's also a great way to help your body detox.

#2: Breakfast -- Porridge

Creative Commons Image

I know I live in America and everyone here calls it 'oatmeal', but for some reason, 'porridge' sounds better! This is where the routine really kicks in, because I eat porridge for breakfast every single day. I use steel cut oats, which I prepare the night before and heat up in the morning. I love my porridge with non-fat milk (still trying to eliminate dairy from my diet but it's hard!), honey, a fruit of my choice (usually half a banana or strawberry slices), and cinnamon. I don't get tired of porridge. It's yummy and it fills me up that I don't need to snack at all until lunch time.

#3: Workout Routine -- Quick and Foolproof

Creative Commons Image

I currently can't afford a gym membership or attend yoga classes, so I opted for an easier, more convenient but still effective way to get some movement in. My 10-minute morning workout includes:

50 jumping jacks

15 body weight squats

15 push ups

15 reverse lunges

30-second plank

(repeat 3 times)

Three times a week, I put in an extra 15-20 minutes of strength training by lifting weights.

#4: Green Tea

Creative Commons Image

I learned this all-day-everyday habit from my grandmother, who is a cancer survivor. I say 'all-day-everyday' because I drink green tea three times a day. I do worry about the caffeine sometimes (I have yet to find a good decaf green tea), but so far, I have no complaints, but rather, only the greatest things to say about a daily green tea regimen. I drink it instead of coffee in the morning, and it keeps me pleasantly awake. I drink it after lunch and dinner, and it's a great top-off to a heavy meal.

#5: Curl Up and Read

Creative Commons Image

I always, always make sure that I put in at least an hour (sometimes more) to read a book each day. It's my way of shutting off instant gratification (disguised as Facebook, YouTube, Pinterest, and Netflix) and feeding my brain and spirit by going back to the simplicity of reading and spending time with myself, my imagination, and a great story.

What is your daily routine like? I hope everyone has a healthy and happy summer!

Happy Pentecost Sunday!

Today is the feast of the Pentecost. I learned something new today at mass: today is the 50th day after Passover.

I first learned about Pentecost -- the day the Holy Spirit descended upon the apostles and the Virgin Mary through 'tongues of fire' -- when I was in elementary Catholic school. The teacher showed us a drawn picture of several men and a woman gathered together in a room with fire floating above their heads, like decapitated candles. Imagining it as a kid scared me; I could almost smell burnt hair just thinking about it.

The Holy Spirit has always been such an abstract concept to me. My sister even said that she used to be intimidated by the whole notion of praying to the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Trinity, which comprises of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, was perhaps the most important Catholic concept I had to learn growing up. God the Father and God the Son were more concrete and humanly understandable; the idea of an all encompassing father figure and the son who once walked the earth as a human was definitely something I could embrace more than the idea of what the oldies liked to call 'the holy ghost', a term that scared me as a kid.

Who or what is the Holy Spirit to you?

It took me a while to 'get it', although at times I still don't think I understand completely. I realize God is something we are not supposed to fully understand or grasp with our limited human minds anyway, but to simply embrace through the grace that fills our spirit.

Spirit. So intangible. There's that word again. But as an adult, I've learned to appreciate the concept of the Holy Spirit. Through my limited, human mind and understanding, I have come to appreciate the Holy Spirit as the all-knowing, positive, and perfect energy that gives enlightenment and understanding, guidance, and peace in our lives.

Enlightenment and understanding. As a child, I was taught to pray to the Holy Spirit before taking a test. I pray to the Holy Spirit before job interviews, presentations, or even before simply having a conversation with someone that requires a lot of patience and trust. I pray to the Holy Spirit when I need to ask someone for their forgiveness, or when someone asks for mine. Enlightenment. Light. The Holy Spirit, on Pentecost, is depicted as 'tongues of fire' floating above the heads of the members of our first church. They were blessed with the ability to speak and share God's word throughout the world, and the humble understanding of their duties as Christians following Jesus Christ's footsteps. The Holy Spirit enlightened them, and gave them understanding, preparing them for their first steps as followers of Christ--quite a big feat, if you ask me.

Guidance. I pray to the Holy Spirit when I am in the middle of making an important decision. I find that praying to the Holy Spirit, in particular, when trying to figure out God's will for me, has always been the most effective and clarifying. The Holy Spirit's energy clears my head and prepares my heart when I run into a crossroads, so that I may choose the right path.

It took me a while to accept and learn and completely embrace praying for what God wants instead of what I want. But then almost every time I do the latter and simply go for what I want, it flops. So now, even though I still let God know the desires of my heart--which I truly believe is also important to Him--I would always say that, in the end, His will be done. Praying to the Holy Spirit gives me the strength to do precisely that, and the guidance that comes with choosing wisely.

Peace. I am a nervous wreck, especially when dealing with people who are not close friends or family. I am a nervous wreck whenever I travel alone, or whenever my husband travels alone without me. I am a nervous wreck during doctor's visits. I am a nervous wreck every time I am pulled out of my comfort zone. I pray to the Holy Spirit to calm my heart during such occasions. Again--all knowing, positive, and perfect energy. The Holy Spirit is also often depicted as a white dove, the perfect epitome of peace.

The Holy Spirit is a glorious gift and presence. I urge you to try letting this all knowing, positive, and perfect energy into your daily decision-making. You will be surprised at how much more fruitful and purposeful your lives will become.

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.